`It was settling inside her, like a very heavy burden-
plunging deep deep down like a heavy stone in the buoyancy of the beauty sea
mounting & mounting- pressuring the rebel inside her to wake up & liberate the free spirit inside her-
free yet weak-
free yet cowardly-
abashed, aghasted, perturbed, unsettled-
There was a haze-through which she couldn`t see.
She wanted everything to be perfect - but could not bear to struggle for it-
She was way too much optimist- but only like a pigeon that will close it`s eyes on the face of danger to dream about a wonderful life-
She was stubborn as well- not listening to the loved ones outside or to the rebel inside her-
She would take it on- take every challenge on but with a disturbed mind & broken heart-
not openin her mouth or not fighting against- just taking it on.
Not because she was too good or too strong-
only because she was a coward-
But then where do cowards go? Do they have to suffer because of there mousy nature?
I don`t think so, I think nature has it`s way with everyone-
She hoped with all her heart for the right way-
not only to be shown but for the Mghty power to hold her hand && guide her through life-
the symbols she wont see-
struggle, she can not. she won`t-
rebel, she`d never-
so the only way was for God to hold her in lap && guide her to a wonderful life`
As she settled in bed to read her diary - like daily, this entry caught her eye today..
& all the events of those gone-by years came rushin back to her as she smiled amidst a tear.
`He could feel it, the frustration building up inside him-
the helplessness & most of all the lack of understanding.
It was killing him , not knowin was killin him-
not knowin whats goin on behind
not knowin how to change it
infact hhis agony was of not knowin what to change-
there was intimacy-
A LOT of intimacy
but there were thousands & thousands of walls
the walls of silence
there was love-
A LOT of love,
the love that is so true & so deep that it could be felt from a thousand miles
but there were tousands & thousands of hindrances-
the hurdles of zipped lips & burnin passions.`
He smiled with those shinin black eyes & heart so full as if it will burst any second....
it happened 20 years back-
leaving behind only sunshines & rainbows -